thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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