so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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