I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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