I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
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I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
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"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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