Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize