MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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