I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I've blown a few things in my day
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
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We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
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I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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