Just fell off a train. Bad.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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