There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize