At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize