I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize