I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize