During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize