Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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