So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize