please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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