i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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