You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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