The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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