Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
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It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
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Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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