I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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