You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
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I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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