I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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