Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
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her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
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We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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