FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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