guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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