Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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