9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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