dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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