If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
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Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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