Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize