she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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