You really coming over, don't trick.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
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I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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