My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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