and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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