Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
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I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
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Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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