I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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