I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize