I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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