Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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