dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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