ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize