Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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