just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize