you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize