i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I party with great urgency now.
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