she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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