Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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