please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize