dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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